Was

It was supposed to be beautiful

I just want my heart to not rip out of my fucking chest
Just one time can I be okay
Can I be enough
Can someone stand by my side and hold me
For eternity
And mean every word
Can I find bliss
Can I find passion without fear
Can I find love without need

Am I enough as I am
All of my fuckin scars and my torn up heart
Am I enough
To find home in a person
Am I worth working for
Caring for

Will illness always infect my every state of being
Will it permeate into all of the best things and wring them out dry
Will I have to chance to love and live
Really fucking live

Is this all I'm destined to be
A lonely heart
And a cold, hollow soul

As always, it was supposed to be beautiful.