Setbacks

Stumbling over the border
Of clarity and illusion
Senseless emotions and thoughts
Pushing, pushing, dying to explode.
Fear
Of what I don't know and of what I do
Of stagnancy, of no fucking change
Of no control
Of too much time
Or not enough
Of everyone else
And everything.
Of my head, my body, my soul
Do I even have those things

Silence and emptiness and fucking fear
Breathing down my fucking neck
Teasing, taunting, confusing.
What the fuck is real
How am I supposed to know

Twists

Words linger in the air
As thoughts spin off rapidly
My heart says protect me
My words say go
Do I know what I want?
Do I know anything at all
besides my empty chest
And my insatiably lonely heart?

Essence

Back and forth, down then up only to go so far down again.
Push and push and push and pull and pull.
Confusion and anger and remorse.
Around, around, around again.
No sense of security
Only emptiness to fall back onto.
Always falling, falling, falling
Onto nothing, into nothing, with nothing.
Patterns that do not break
Pain that never ceases
Meaning that can never seem to be found
Voids filled with more empty substances
Dead space. Empty space.